


Sanctuary

by Fangirlwriting



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Being an Idiot, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders is Extra, Deceit | Janus Sanders is a Good Friend, Gen, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/pseuds/Fangirlwriting
Summary: Remus overhears something he really shouldn't have, and it hurts a lot more than it really should.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 123





	Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to StarlightNyxKnight for the title that gave me this story's inspiration.

Anyone who knew Remus knew that he legitimately did not give a shit what other people thought of him. Most people at school thought he was weird, a freak, or straight up hated him, and he knew that. But the thought of changing something to make them comfortable never crossed his mind, not in a serious way. He took a lot of pride in that fact, and he could remember times he’d honestly enjoyed people being a dick to him, because that meant whatever he was doing was pissing people off.

One of the people who did not hate him was his twin brother Roman. Roman very much did give a shit what other people thought of him, and Remus knew this. He had tried numerous times to convince Roman that other people’s opinions didn’t matter, but Roman wanted to be popular. He never seemed to truly be content until he knew everyone liked him (and yes, Remus did mean everyone. He could remember a time in sixth grade when Roman found out a person he had never spoken to before thought he was “a bit much,” after which he spent a good three weeks trying to get said person to like him. Which he did in the end, but still).

Roman could be a bit weirded out by the things Remus did some times, but they were siblings, what else did you expect? They still spent quite a bit of time together, and though he may be his brother, Remus could pretty safely say that Roman was his best friend too. And he was pretty sure Roman agreed.

Remus was staying after school that day due to Roman having drama club and Remus not wanting to drive home when he would have less than an hour before he’d have to come back. But today the club seemed to be running late, and it was getting closer to 5:00. Pretty soon his mom texted saying they were going to go out to eat, so please get home soon, so Remus wandered down the side hallway that led to backstage to kidnap Roman in between scenes and take him home by force if they weren’t close to being done.

Luckily, the drama teacher Mrs. R was giving final notes as everyone was sitting on the stage, so Remus leaned against a table sitting backstage and waited. But when Mrs. R dismissed everyone, Remus saw Roman start back towards him, looking down at his phone, only to be stopped by someone working on the set, then quickly joined by a couple of other people.

Remus sighed, and briefly considered sneaking up behind Roman and tackling him, but that could knock him out, and then he’d have to drag his unconscious body through the school, and that would definitely make them later than their parents wanted. So instead he just started towards the group of people.

“…kinda surprised you would want to join,” one of the other people was saying. “You know, considering your brother.”

Remus stopped despite himself just behind the curtain.

“Why would Remus affect me joining the drama club?” Roman asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“Well, he did kind of ruin last year’s set with that giant paint bomb?” the other person said.

“Virgil, that wasn’t Roman,” came a new voice. “Since when do we judge people on what their family’s like?”

“Hey, the set is my thing! Do you know how long it took to fix all that damage? I don’t think I’ve been more stressed in my entire life.”

“That sounds unlikely, given the fact that you’re you,” came another voice, as Remus smiled in remembrance of that prank. It had taken a  _ lot _ to pull it off, but both the effort and the two week suspension were definitely worth it if he now had a reputation among the drama club.

“I’m just saying,” said the person who must have been Virgil. “I don’t really like your brother, Roman.”

“Virgil!”

Roman laughed nervously. “Yeah, that’s okay, me neither. Sometimes I wish I could be an only child,” he said.

Remus blinked.  _ What? _

Before Remus could really process what he’d just heard, Roman spoke up again. “Well! I uh, I should go! I have— uh— things. Homework. And stuff. Yeah!”

Remus quickly backed up until he was over by the doors that led back to the hallway. He pulled out his phone and started moving his finger up on the black screen as if he was scrolling through something.

“Hey, Remus.”

Remus looked up to find Roman starting towards him and woah, why was there suddenly a lump in his throat?

“You ready to go?” Roman asked. “Sorry to keep you, we’re probably gonna start staying later with the performance coming up. You could always go home if you want.”

“That’s fine,” Remus said. “I just— got here. I was knocking over desks in classrooms again.”

Roman sighed. “Of course you were.”

Okay, why was his chest hurting? Remus swallowed, and held up the car keys. “Come on, Mom and Dad want us home soon, we’re going out to eat.”

“Really? Sweet.” Roman slung his backpack over his shoulder, and headed out the door towards the back of the school where their car was parked.

“Can you drive?” Remus asked suddenly, handing the car keys to Roman as they approached and starting over towards the passenger seat. “I need— a nap.”

“A nap?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow. “You couldn’t have taken one instead of knocking over desks in classrooms?”

Remus flinched. “Uh— sorry,” he mumbled.

Roman paused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m good, just— nap.”

“Um, okay… sure, nap your heart out.” Roman opened the drivers side door and climbed inside, and Remus pulled open the passenger one, dropped his backpack on the floor and pressed his head against the window.

Roman was pretty quiet on the way back home, which made Remus glad that he lied about napping, because for some reason he wasn’t sure he could carry a conversation right now.

He climbed out of the car pretty quickly once they got home, ignoring Roman’s small noise of surprise, since he probably thought Remus had actually been asleep. He walked past his parents in the kitchen with a brief comment about putting his backpack in his room, and then made it up the stairs and locked his door.

He set his backpack down by the door and collapsed back on his bed, ignoring the lump that was steadily growing in his chest. He didn’t know where it had come from. So Roman thought about being an only child, so what? So did he, sometimes. Granted, he never considered it as something he’d  _ want… _ but that wasn’t so different. Who cares?

“Remus! Come on, we need to get going!”

Remus stood and headed for the steps, meeting his mother as she was about to walk out of the house towards the car. Luckily, they were taking the van, which meant Remus could climb into the middle and then go into the back of the car so he didn’t have to sit next to Roman.

They ended up going to their parents favorite steakhouse. Remus was finding it a little hard to pay attention, and ended up ordering pretty much at random, which got him a filet mignon, but not with the extra bacon that he usually ordered it with. Luckily, his parents managed to keep up the conversation pretty well themselves, and Roman was happy to go on about what they had been doing in drama club that had been keeping them. By the end of the meal, Remus was pretty sure he hadn’t said more than two words, and he just wanted to go home.

But considering Remus was the kind of person who normally couldn’t keep his mouth shut, of course everyone else noticed. Remus was pulled aside by his mother once they got home and asked if he was alright.

“Fine, I’m just tired,” Remus muttered in an also very-unlike-him way, before heading up to his room and pulling out his phone. He could distract himself for a couple hours before getting some sleep. Everything would probably feel much better in the morning.

…

It was probably a bad thing that Remus had to rely on a cliché like that. He’d never been one to like clichés. They were pointless and overdone, and as someone who tried to live as the most invasive and unique person in the room, generally speaking Remus avoided them like the plague.

In other words, things did not feel better in the morning. Remus got up around the same time he normally did, put on his sparkliest loudest outfit in the hopes to give himself some sense of confidence, and headed downstairs to eat some cereal and orange juice (no, not the way you’re thinking, the orange juice was in the bowl).

He considered walking to school for a brief second. He had enough time, but then Roman would definitely figure out that something was wrong, so Remus just went upstairs, grabbed his notebook and sat down on his bed to write while he waited for Roman to get ready.

Roman always rushed downstairs at the last possible minute, which for once Remus was grateful for, because it meant he could head out the door while Roman was running for the car and avoid being asked any questions about why he was being so quiet this morning. He got out of the car before it stopped moving as Roman pulled into the school parking lot, ignoring Roman’s yelp of surprise, and started weaving his way in between the cars and up the front steps.

Remus shook himself a little before he opened the door, and managed to at least get his mind off of Roman as he walked into the main hallway.

Remus made it to his locker, and was reaching past his chewed gum collection on the inside for his pre-calculus notebook when he glanced over to see two people next to him whispering. One of them was new, Remus was pretty sure. As soon as they noticed he saw them, they looked away.

Remus rolled his eyes and was about to close his locker when Roman walked across the hall to his own. As Remus’ gaze trailed him, the two next to him started whispering again.

“What the heck is he wearing?”

“Yeah, that’s Remus for you. He does that. You’ll get used to him.”

“Is he always this… freakish?”

“He’s usually worse.”

Remus slammed the locker shut and started down the hallway, suddenly finding it much harder to ignore people staring at him. He ducked into pre-calculus and found himself sitting near the back of the classroom. What the heck was wrong with him today?

It didn’t get much better as the class periods went on, and by the time the lunch bell rang, Remus found himself just wanting to go home. He was pretty sure this teacher had a free period during lunch, so Remus stayed behind until everyone left, went and grabbed his lunch from his locker, and ate it in the empty classroom so as to avoid Roman. He ignored the couple of texts asking where he was, too.

After lunch ended, Remus didn’t feel particularly up to going to his next class, so instead he snuck into the empty auditorium… which also turned out to be a mistake, because now all he could think about was what he’d overheard yesterday.

Why would Roman say something like that anyway? Had he done something wrong, or made Roman mad somehow? The guy in the hallway this morning had called him “freakish.” Was that what Roman thought of him? Would he like him more if he was more normal? He didn’t  _ want _ to be normal. Normal was boring.

…But those guys calling him a freak hadn’t felt amazing. He just didn’t understand why it suddenly bothered him. He’d never cared about people’s opinions in the past. Was this what insecurity felt like? He hated it. Could someone take it back?

Maybe that was the point. Maybe he’d just never cared what everyone else thought because he had Roman, and he had been so sure Roman liked him. But if Roman disliked him enough to want to be an only child, that had to mean he was doing something wrong, didn’t it?

Remus didn’t want to wait until after drama club today. He texted Roman that he was walking home and leaving the car and then did just that. As soon as he made it back to his house and through the front door, Remus breathed a sigh of relief that felt like shedding a layer of fake skin. He headed up to his room, promptly decided homework was stupid, and dropped his backpack and fell onto his bed, feeling absolutely drained.

He must have ended up falling asleep, because he woke up to Roman shaking his shoulder. “Hey, come on, Dad made stew. Just the way you like it.”

“With an ungodly amount of onions?”

Roman groaned. “Yes. You baffle me. Let’s go.”

Remus did his best not to wince from the comment and climbed out of bed, ignoring his rumpled clothing and probable bedhead and heading down the steps after Roman.

Remus, as always, ate several bowls of stew, and he managed to bullshit enough of a story about what he’d done during lunch that no one asked him if anything was wrong. He vanished into his bedroom after dinner, but that was normal, it was just that he wasn’t doing anything he normally did, and was instead staring at his notebook and trying to come up with something he wanted to do with it.

In the end, he gave up when he looked over at his clock and found it long past midnight. He fell asleep very displeased with how the day had gone. He doubted he’d feel well-rested in the morning.

…

Remus stared at the grey hoodie feeling pretty sure he had never hated an article of clothing more. It was drab, dull, and dreary, in all the ways that alliteration made worse. The pair of jeans next to it was hardly much better.

But when he looked over at any of his normal (better) outfits, he just remembered how it felt to have people staring at him. Finally Remus pulled the plain white t-shirt and grey hoodie over his head and put the jeans on, feeling almost disgusted with himself. It seemed to surprise everyone else in his family, too, as when Remus headed down the stairs and sat at the kitchen table he got the sense of his parents both staring at him.

Jesus Christ, if he got stared at when he dressed crazily and stared at when he dressed normally then how the hell was he supposed to dress?

Neither of his parents got a chance to lecture him on it, however, because Roman came running down the stairs a second later with his backpack, and ran into the kitchen to make breakfast with nothing more than a rushed “Good morning!”

No one mentioned Remus’ outfit until he made it out to the car with Roman, taking the keys to drive today so he would have an excuse not to acknowledge Roman’s staring. But that didn’t mean he didn’t know he was doing it.

“So…” Roman said slowly. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Remus asked, tightening his hands around the wheel.

“Remus, come on.”

“And since when is it any of your business what I wear?”

“Hey, it’s not. You just look… weird, when you’re not dressing… weird.”

Remus let out an irritated sigh. “Well, this is what I felt like wearing. So maybe get off my dick.”

“Geez, okay, sorry,” Roman said, looking out the window. He didn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride there, and Remus wasn’t sure he liked how common that was becoming.

At least no one stared at him when he walked in that morning. He was pretty sure no one even recognized him, which felt relieving and vile at the same time. He continued his new strategy of sitting in the back of the classroom, and he was pretty sure he didn’t say much until lunchtime, when he met up with Roman before heading into the cafeteria. Roman gave him a brief concerned look, but ultimately didn’t say anything, and Remus followed him until he sat down at a table with some familiar looking people.

“Hey, Roman,” one of them said.

“Hello Patton,” Roman replied with a smile. “I hope you guys don’t mind if Remus joins us today?”

“Of course not,” Patton said, giving both of the others sitting there a pointed look that was not lost on Remus.

“It’s nice to meet you, Remus,” said the one next to Patton, extending a hand. “I’m Logan.”

Remus spat on his hand before shaking Logan’s, who quickly pulled away and looked down at it in slight disgust, before wiping his hand on a napkin.

Remus glanced next to him at the other person at the table, who must have been Virgil.

“Still don’t like you,” he muttered.

“Virgil!” Patton scolded. “Don’t be rude!”

Remus very purposefully avoided looking in Roman’s direction, and instead took a bite of the sandwich he’d packed for lunch (tuna with pickles and onions), while Virgil and Patton continued to argue over his head.

Logan gave a deep sigh from across the table. “I apologize for Virgil,” he said to Remus. “You’ll grow on him.”

“What, like a fungus or a mushroom?” Remus muttered, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Um, neither. You’re a human being, how would you—”

“He’s joking, Lo.” Roman said from his spot next to Remus.

“Ah, I see,” Logan said.

Eventually, Patton and Virgil stopped squabbling and Virgil turned to face him with what looked like a very uncooperative look. “I’m sorry I was rude,” he said through gritted teeth, looking not at all sorry.

Remus shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich. “It was what, fifteen seconds ago? That neck has already been snapped,” he said with his mouth full.

Virgil slid away slightly in disgust.

Remus stood up very decidedly, drawing the attention of everyone else there. “Well. This has been lovely. But I have things to do.”

“What things?” Roman asked in surprise.

“Secret things. I’ll see you after school,” Remus said and walked as quickly as he could out of the lunchroom. He made it about three feet out of sight before he sighed and leaned back against the lockers in the hallway.

Who cared what Virgil thought anyway? He was clearly a jerk, why should he give him more than a second thought?

“Hey, excuse me!”

Remus glanced up to see someone starting down the hall towards him. Then he did a double take, because this person looked…  _ awesome. _ He was wearing nicer dark pants and black coat with yellow buttons, a bowler hat, and a motherfucking cape.

“Yes, hi,” the stranger said, stopping in front of Remus and looking down at a piece of paper he was holding. “I’m trying to find Mr. Banter’s room, do you know where that would be?”

Remus’ mouth hung open for a moment, and he gave the stranger a once over.

The stranger raised an eyebrow. “Do you know where that would be?” he repeated.

“You’re wearing a cape.”

The stranger’s face immediately closed off, and he looked about ten times more defensive. “And?”

Remus grinned wickedly. “Cool.”

The stranger’s face melted into surprise, and then appreciation. “Thank you.” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Janus.”

“Remus.” Remus shook the offered hand and turned to look down the hallway. “Mr. Banter’s room is down there. Do you have him right now? Because if so you’re running late.”

“No, I have him after lunch. I’m just trying to figure out where it is beforehand. If you haven’t guessed, I’m new here.”

“I guessed,” Remus said, leaning back against the locker now that they didn’t have to go anywhere for a minute. “I have Banter after lunch too. His class is the worst. And he’ll definitely give you shit for a cape, by the way.” Remus had gotten quite a few scoldings for outfits from Mr. Banter.

“Oh excellent, I thought I was going to have to go my whole first day without fighting a teacher, I was so disappointed.”

Remus grinned a little wider and crossed his arms. “I look forward to being your backup,” he said. He hesitated, and stuck a hand in his pocket to try and keep up a confident persona. “If you’ll have me.”

“Well, every good supervillain needs a henchman,” Janus said, giving Remus a teasing smirk.

“Call me a henchman again and I’ll smite you where you stand,” Remus said casually. “But… cool.”

Janus smiled at him and opened his mouth to say something else when the bell rang overhead. Remus stood up and waved Janus after him before anyone from the lunchroom could come out and find him, and they both headed down towards Mr. Banter’s room.

So maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all.

…

Roman had been a sort of sanctuary, Remus realized. It was easy to not care about other people’s opinions when you were sure the one person whose opinion really mattered to you loved you. Losing that would naturally hurt, and with no sanctuary, Remus was left without a barrier against the opinions of others.

Janus didn’t fix all of that— how could he, Remus had known his brother since before they were both born and he’d known Janus for a couple days now— but it was easy for him to be himself around Janus, as he had quickly sized him up as someone who wouldn’t judge. Janus did try to encourage him a couple of times to wear one of his normal outfits to school after learning of how much Remus loved them, which was a little bit of a problem, but it’s not like Remus was going to get mad about that (not when he really wanted to wear them too). No, the real problem about growing to like Janus so much and so quickly came when he found he was very easy to open up to.

“I’m sorry, Roman said  _ what?” _

Remus quickly looked away, already regretting saying anything. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is! That’s a huge dick move, what the hell? And then he just acts like nothing’s wrong?!”

“I don’t think he knows I heard him.”

_ “So?” _ Janus huffed and sat down in the armchair he had in front of his desk. “I’m beating him up.”

“Please don’t.”

“He’ll get a black eye. He’ll have to cover it with a frozen steak for a week.”

“Don’t beat him up. I want him to like you.”

Janus groaned. “Ugh, fine. But he’s gonna have to do a lot of legwork if he wants me to like him.” Janus glanced over at him. “So your parents are good with me coming over for dinner?”

“They were practically over the moon when I asked them. They want me to make more friends. They think I’m lonely.”

“Are you?”

“Well, I am  _ now. _ Or you know, I was a week ago.” Remus leaned back on Janus’ bed and appreciated the springiness for the millionth time. Janus had one of the most elegant rooms Remus had ever seen, and he was Roman’s brother. The bed was a king size with a headboard with ornate carvings that Janus swore he had done himself. The desk and wallpaper were Victorian style, the armchair was very evil-villain-esque while somehow sticking to the theme, and Janus apparently always kept it sleek and polished (boring). There was a large shelf space built into the wall above his bed where Janus kept a large amount of books. He kept all of his clothes in a closet, because apparently his dresser was “too constricting.” His outfits were elegant in and of themselves, with capes, capelets, overcoats, even some trench coats.

Needless to say, Remus never wore hoodies in here.

Janus seemed about to reply when Remus’ phone buzzed and he glanced down at it. “Welp,” he said, using the bed to push himself up. “You ready?”

“Time for the big reveal?” Janus asked with amusement.

“Indeed.”

As they both started for the front door Janus looked up thoughtfully. “You know, maybe I can just stare angrily at Roman all night and make him incredibly uncomfortable.”

“I get it Janus, you don’t like my brother.”

Really, all that the rest of Remus’ family knew was that he’d made a friend last week and they had yet to meet him. And for as much as Remus didn’t want Janus to injure Roman… maybe a little discomfort wouldn’t be so bad to see.

They got to Remus’ house in about ten minutes or so, and Janus climbed out of the car and peered down at the chain on his coat, straightening it as if he was preparing for a fancy dinner party. Remus did his best to cover his smile.

“Hey, Janus?” Remus asked as they started up the walkway.

“Yes?”

“You know that thing you mentioned about potentially making Roman extremely uncomfortable?”

“Hmm?”

“Go nuts.”

Janus smiled widely. “Excellent.”

Remus pulled out his key and opened the door, calling, “We’re here!” as he pushed it open.

His mother was the first who appeared, coming from the direction of the living room. “Hello,” she said with a smile. “You must be Janus.”

“Pleasure,” Janus said, smiling back.

“Dinner’s ready!” came a voice from the dining room, and the three of them walked in there to find Roman and their dad finishing setting the table. Roman was putting a plate of burgers down, and turned to grab the pitcher of water on the counter, but before he could do that, Janus walked over and picked it up straight from under Roman’s hands.

“Allow me,” he said, smiling at Roman just a little too widely.

Roman took a half step back. “Um. Okay.”

Janus set the water pitcher on the table and sat down next to Remus, who gave him a quiet high five under the table.

Dinner was overall pleasant. Remus felt a little more at ease due to Janus being there, and so he talked a little more than he had been during meals lately. But the night didn’t get truly entertaining until after dinner, when their parents went to do the dishes and Roman brought up the upcoming play.

“So, yeah, I’m gonna be staying pretty late during Hell Week,” he said, glancing at Remus. “You should definitely just go home when school is over.”

“Oh hey, that reminds me,” Janus said casually. “Which teacher did you bribe, Roman?”

Roman blinked. “Huh?”

“To get the lead role. Which teacher did you bribe?”

Roman stared at him. “I didn’t… bribe a teacher,” he said in bafflement.

“Really? Everyone’s saying that,” Janus said, looking over at Remus.

“Oh yeah, I heard that too,” Remus said, biting his lip to keep himself from laughing.

“Really?” Roman asked. “Who said that?”

“Um, everyone?” Janus said, raising an eyebrow back at him. “I just said that, did I not?”

_ “Everyone _ is saying that?”

Janus nodded. “Eh, so it’s not true, no big deal. Just let your acting speak for itself then,” he said casually, looking down at his phone.

“I can’t just— do that!” Roman exclaimed. “Do you know who started the rumor?”

“Yeah, it was Janus, three seconds ago,” Remus muttered to himself.

Janus elbowed him in the side, and he laughed a little.

“What?” Roman asked, turning to Remus.

“I’m not sure,” Janus said louder. “Wow, I hope it wasn’t someone whose opinion matters to you.”

Remus snorted, finding this much more amusing than he’d expected to.

But Roman seemed to have caught on to something happening, and looked back and forth between the two of them. “Okay, what’s going on here?” he asked. “Are you making fun of me?”

“Just a little,” Janus said with a smirk.

“Could you, uh, not?” Roman muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m just… sensitive about acting stuff, okay?”

“Oh gee, that sounds rough,” Janus said, but he suddenly sounded much more angry than a second ago. “I wonder what it’s like to have to hear someone being rude about something you’re sensitive about.”

Remus frowned. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. “Janus—”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roman asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Give it a good long second of thought,” Janus snapped.

“Janus,” Remus said, pulling him back before he stood up and started yelling at Roman.

Janus sighed, and leaned back on the chair.

Well, that hadn’t gone as planned. It wasn’t just Roman who was uncomfortable now.

“I’d like to know what he’s talking about,” Roman said hesitantly.

“I’m sure you would,” Janus grumbled.

Before Roman could reply, their father walked back into the room. “So, does anyone want to come get some dessert?”

“That sounds lovely,” Janus said, standing abruptly. Remus stood just as quickly to avoid being in the room when Roman asked what that was about.

…

Eventually, though, Janus had to leave, and though locks on a door could do wonders, they could only stand up to your brother yelling at you from the other side for so long.

“What?” Remus asked, trying not to scowl as he pulled the door open.

“I just want to know what the heck that was about,” Roman said, crossing his arms and looking a little angry himself. “Did you tell Janus to tease me about the drama club?”

“About the drama club specifically? No.”

“You told him to tease me?”

Remus glared down at the ground. “So?”

“So what the hell? Are you mad at me or something? Why not just tell me that?”

Remus said nothing.

“Well?”

Remus crossed his arms without looking up.

“Why would you go behind my back with this person you barely know? Remus, you’re my brother—”

“And apparently you don’t want it that way,” Remus mumbled without thinking.

Roman stopped. Remus didn’t look up. He counted to three in his head before Roman spoke again.

“Oh god. You heard that? Remus—”

“Just fuck off, Roman,” Remus snapped, slamming the door shut and locking it. He grabbed his earbuds and stuck them in his ears, turning up his music loud enough that he could ignore Roman’s knocking this time.

He was walking to school tomorrow.

…

“Well,” Janus said, as Remus shook out the last of his fourth pixie stick. “You really are going to have diabetes by the time you’re 20, aren’t you?”

“I have the metabolism of a god,” Remus said, dropping the empty wrapper and picking up a twinkie.

“I am sure you think so.”

Remus grinned at Janus before spotting Roman in the entrance to the cafeteria over his shoulder. Roman was looking right at him, but Remus couldn’t read the expression on his face. He took another bite of the twinkie and looked back at Janus.

“So is he still being a dick?” Janus asked, glancing over his shoulder at Roman.

“Whatever, who even cares?” Remus grumbled, glaring down.

Janus said nothing for a minute, and Remus groaned. “Yeah, me, I know, I get it.” He set his head down in his hands on the table. “Sorry I immediately dragged you into my problems,” he muttered.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Janus said.

“Remus?”

Both of them glanced over to see Roman standing at the edge of the table, wringing his hands. “Can I talk to you?”

Remus threw up his sweatshirt hood, ignoring Roman’s question and grabbing another pixie stick.

“Well, looks like that answers that,” Janus said. “Shoo.”

“But—”

“Shoo.”

Roman walked away with a sigh, and Remus pulled his hood down.

“You know,” Janus said hesitantly. “You are going to have to talk to him eventually.”

“Or I could hide in hoodies for another week.”

“You hate hoodies.”

Remus grumbled something inaudible and emptied the pixie stick into his mouth, and then sighed. “I really do,” he mumbled.

Maybe talking to Roman that night wouldn’t be a horrible idea. At least he could get some clarity as to what exactly Roman didn’t like about him, and maybe he could feel a little bit better about things. Maybe he could even stop being so bothered by everyone else’s stupid irrelevant opinions.

That didn’t mean he wanted to talk badly enough to ride home with Roman after school, though. Janus drove them both to get some snack foods at a gas station, and they drove around for a couple hours, with Remus throwing rocks out the window at people they passed and Janus yelling at him to stop every time he did so. They got more gas station food for dinner, and Janus finally dropped Remus off at his house around ten.

Remus was pretty sure that Roman would still be up, as he stayed up the latest of everyone in the house, but he wouldn’t have to pass his room to get to his own, so as long as he was relatively quiet he should be okay.

That is, until he opened his room and found Roman sitting on his bed.

“Goddammit,” Remus muttered, banging his head against the doorframe.

“Remus, come on,” Roman said, standing up. “Please, can I talk to you?”

Remus groaned inwardly, but walked over and sat on his bed. Roman turned to him hesitantly until Remus waved his hand in a “go ahead” motion.

“Remus, I’m sorry,” Roman said instantly. Remus looked up at him.

“Look, you know me,” Roman said. “I want people to like me. I get nervous when I’m trying to get them to. I’d just met Virgil that night and when he said he didn’t like you, I panicked. And I said something I didn’t mean. And I regretted it the second I said it. I would have said I was sorry that second too, but I didn’t know you heard. I just—”

“You said something you didn’t mean,” Remus said slowly.

Roman stared at him. “Remus, of course I didn’t mean it! You’re my brother and I love you. But—” Roman hesitated.

“No, what?” Remus asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” Roman said with a wince. “You’ve been acting nothing like yourself, and I just— I don’t understand. You’re  _ Remus. _ You don’t  _ care _ what people think of you. That’s like, your whole thing!”

“I… care what you think of me,” Remus mumbled, fidgeting with his fingers. “And it’s really hard not to care what  _ other _ people think of me when the one person whose opinion I value doesn’t like me.”

Remus waited for a couple seconds of horrible silence before suddenly Roman was wrapping his arms around him.

“Remus,” he whispered. “I  _ love _ you. I admire so much how you can be yourself. I wish I could be more like that. I am so sorry. I—” Roman pulled back, and took Remus by the shoulders. “Is there a way I can make this up to you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Remus muttered, looking down. “I— I don’t like feeling insecure, Roman. It’s weird and sucky. I just don’t know if I can stop feeling weird about other people staring at me when I do something weird.”

Roman was silent for another moment. “What if they’re not just staring at you?” he said suddenly.

Remus glanced up at him. “Huh?”

Roman walked out of the room and down the hall to his own, before Remus heard him digging around in his closet. He stood up and was about to walk across the hall to join him when Roman seemed to find what he was looking for, and he walked back across the hall. He came back into Remus’ room holding his prince costume from last Halloween, which he set on Remus’ bed.

“There,” he said, sounding not at all confident. “I’ll wear that tomorrow. And… as long as you need me to. So that way if anyone stares at you they stare at me too.”

Remus blinked up at him. “Yeah?”

Roman nodded. “Yeah.”

Remus bit his lip and glanced over at the prince costume. He nodded a little. “Okay.”

Roman sat down on the bed again and pulled Remus into another hug, which Remus returned hesitantly. “Next time just talk to me, okay?” he mumbled.

Remus nodded.

They stayed there for a second until it started feeling awkward, and Roman pulled back and rubbed the back of his neck. “You wanna watch a horror movie or something?” he asked.

“Can it be a super gory one?”

“Ugh. Yeah, okay,” Roman said, standing up as Remus did the same. It was almost 11:00 at that point, but they could be super tired tomorrow.

…

Janus, for one, seemed very amused when Roman walked into school the next morning looking about as awkward as possible in his prince costume.

“Good morning, Remus, Roman,” he said, walking over. “You both look fantastic.”

“People are going to think we’re all cosplaying for something,” Remus said with a grin.

“People can think what they want,” Janus said with a smile, before his gaze soured as he turned to Roman.

“You have a lot to answer for,” he said.

Roman chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“But… this is a start,” Janus said eventually.

As he finished, a couple of other familiar people walked over from the other side of the hallway.

“Hello, Remus,” Logan said with a nod. “It’s nice to see you feeling more like yourself. We were all worried.”

“All of you?” Remus asked in surprise, looking over at Patton and Virgil.

“Of course!” Patton cried.

“Well, it was kinda hard not to be when Roman was freaking out so much,” Virgil mumbled. He sighed. “Sorry I said I didn’t like you. Just… don’t touch my set.”

“No promises,” Remus said with a grin, and Virgil looked very exhausted the next second.

“Well,” Patton said. “It looks like the bell is going to ring soon, so I’ll see you guys at lunch?” he said, glancing at Janus and Remus.

“Sure,” Janus said, as Remus nodded, and the three of them headed off towards their classes.

Janus looked back at Roman. “Now you best be going. Time for a lot of people to stare at the new you.”

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” Roman muttered as he walked off.

Remus smiled at Janus, and they both started off together, as they shared their first class.

“So, are you feeling okay with people looking at you?” Janus asked.

“I’m sorry, why are we thinking about them? I’m talking to you.”

“Good point,” Janus said with a large smile, and they both continued down the hallway, ignoring the stares of people who were most definitely only jealous.

And if they weren’t, who cared?


End file.
